Mental life cannot be stopped or cut off – it is continuous. While a loved one is significant for us, we will spend a lot of energy on the thoughts associated with him. It is important to allow yourself to be in these difficult experiences, while the time and psyche do their healing work.
“Please, help forget your beloved man! We broke up because of his betrayal, he is a womanizer, despite the fact that he was already over 40. Now I realized that he was all for me. We have not met for a month, although he
is calling every day. Advise how to forget it?”
Konstantin Slepak, psychotherapist:
“Perhaps in our world there are funds to“ forget everything ”, for example, as in the film“ People in Black ”, but they are not known to me. Mental life cannot be stopped or cut off – it is continuous. While this person is so significant for you, you will spend a lot of energy on thoughts, memories and plans related to it.
I would advise you to accept the fact that for some time you will be in these difficult experiences. I believe that someday, when the time and psyche will do their healing work, you, instead of having a hole in your memory, will recall this period as a badge. I understand how uncomfortable and hard in this situation is. But the only way to survive this period and preserve or find yourself is to remain conscious. Understand that the current situation is not a sudden problem, but part of the process in which you have been for a long time. I mean relationships with a man. It is important every hour, and it is better to understand every minute what is happening to you, what you feel, what exactly is true for you now. It seems that you are in a situation of deep dependence, when you want to break the relationship as much as preserving.
I want to express the hope that at heart you have already made a decision, and now it is important to listen to yourself and hear it. If there is really a problem in the “womanizer”, then you probably feel like this man not so much rejected as a depressed and insignificant. Remember what you have. Gather yourself again, concentrate on yourself. Where are you? Where did you lose yourself?”